


the subtle art of not giving a f*ck

by catboyfive



Series: Five is done with Diego’s shit but he loves him [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Number Five | The Boy, Don't Like Don't Read, Getting Together, M/M, Number Five | The Boy in a Teenage Body, PWP without Porn, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pseudo-Incest, Top Diego Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:49:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29754330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboyfive/pseuds/catboyfive
Summary: Diego can finally admit to himself- finally, rather than being a stubborn asshole, he can finally admit that he has in fact not mastered the art of not giving a fuck. However, Diego in fact has mastered the art of not acknowledging glares thrown his way to the best of his ability.So, yeah. The point is- Diego isn’t too bothered by the scowl he’s receiving from Five from across the room.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Diego Hargreeves
Series: Five is done with Diego’s shit but he loves him [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196387
Comments: 3
Kudos: 45





	the subtle art of not giving a f*ck

Diego can finally admit to himself- finally, rather than being a stubborn asshole, he can finally admit that he has in fact not mastered the art of not giving a fuck. He’s certainly proved it enough to himself and everybody else.

However, Diego in fact has mastered the art of not acknowledging glares thrown his way to the best of his ability. He’s been doing it his entire life, anyhow. When his father gave a disappointed glare whenever he’d get a knife thrown somewhere it shouldn’t be when he knew he wasn’t suppose to throw them outside the training room. The disappointed stare he’d get from mom. Now- that didn’t happen often. But, it was when he felt the most shame, under a mother’s disenchanted gaze. He’s always been a bit of a momma’s boy.

The glares he was most aquatinted with were his siblings. Glares from Luther, and the rest were mostly disapproving looks when he was fighting with Luther. But Five. The glare he was most familiar with. Well, if you’d ask Diego, he’d tell you the word scowl was more fitting for Five. 

It was hardly ever personal. Five just gave everybody that look, ever since they were kids. Maybe besides Ben and Vanya. He at least respected those two enough to not look at them like a mere piece of dirt under his shoe every waking second-and, as far as Diego is concerned, if Five really could make it possible, every sleeping second too. The little shit— even when he was gone he still found a way to give them all a menacing look. That damn painting on the wall. 

So, yeah. The point is- Diego isn’t too bothered by the scowl he’s receiving from Five from across the room where he leaned against the railing of the stairs. He’d have continued to look off somewhere else if it weren’t for the loud cough Five let out against his fist to get his attention. He was sure Five was trying to get his attention anyways, the both of them could see the rest of their idiot family was too busy bickering to notice a thing.

He got his confirmation when he turned to look at Five for the first time, well- technically second, he’d looked briefly before and decided to not look again when he met that icy glare. Diego was sure that glare could cut right into his soul. 

Five tilted his head up some, towards the stairs before he gave Diego one last look and then he was going up them. He knew that Five expected him to follow, even more so when he caught sight of Five at the top, hands on the railings and leaning down some just to give him another look and then he was turning around to descend deeper into Elliott’s living area.

Diego didn’t even bother giving his family a look to make sure they were still too deep in going back and forth to notice that he was following Five up. They weren’t even on his mind at all as he trotted up the stairs to find Five sat on Elliott’s couch, leaning back against the cushions and one leg crossed atop the other. Diego would have laughed about how much of an old man Five is if he weren’t too busy looking down at his feet in shame— like he would have if it were Grace. He supposes he should take back his earlier statement- Diego has not mastered the art of not acknowledging glares. At least, Five’s glare. Maybe before, but he knew it was different now. They both did.

Diego cared a little more about Five’s opinion now than he had before. Hell, even a week ago.

Diego isn’t sure when that started. When he started to actually give a damn about Five’s disapproval and when he use to be annoyed by Five’s antics, now his chest swelled with affection. Maybe when Five came back to save their siblings when he didn’t have to. He could have just left them all to die and he’d have lived anyways. He deserves a lot more respect than he’s given for that, Diego thinks.

But he knows that’s not why. He wishes it were- and most days with having his hands full, it was easy to convince himself. 

But it’s not the truth and they both know it. They both know it started when Five took Diego over their fathers bar after the commission agent left. Diego had even been able to convince himself afterwards that he was just angry and Five was there- he was there and Diego needed something to take his anger out on. His anger of Five letting the man get away when Eudora deserved some kind of justice. That’s not the truth either. Diego’s starting to think he’s mastered the art of lying to himself the best.

Truth is, this was a long time coming. Years of no closure after they’d gotten so close right before Five was just gone. No idea where he’d gone— if he was dead or alive, or if it were even Diego’s fault for making Five so vulnerable in a way he’d never been before. He had no choice but to leave.

But that’s not what happened at all. And damn it Diego had missed the asshole so much. Before he left, Five was the only one who didn’t laugh or give him looks like he were stupid if he couldn’t form words, besides mom. Hell- Five didn’t even shoot down or call his dreams ridiculous when he surely would have months before. Diego had been falling in love with the little bastard before he just— disappeared. He hadn’t known then but he does now. No closure and then he was there and Diego couldn’t help himself. 

Diego then tried to convince himself that it was only a one time thing and he’d be able to control himself better next time. But then afterwards Five was telling him that it was his first time- the older man was drunk after a few more glasses of tequila and couldn’t help himself either it seemed. He said he’d waited because he knew he’d come back for his siblings and Diego. Diego still tried to tell himself it wouldn’t happen again.

But then it did because of course it did. Diego was angry again- angry at Five for running away the one person Diego had when Five disappeared again, angry at Five for looking strangely good when he himself was angry and sprouting vulgarities at Diego. With his list thus far Diego was pretty sure he just had a thing for people that were always mad at him. But that wasn’t the point. The point was Diego moved forward quickly and just as quick as he had moved, his lips were on Five’s. Five was kissing back and they both knew that there was no trying to control themselves. They were only human after all— wanting to mount each other as they always have like the animals they really were. All of this brought them back to now. 

Five was standing again but he remained near the couch as he hisses out, “Where the hell were you, Diego? How is it that even Klaus made it but not the rest of you idiots, huh? That was our ticket home! Does the end of the damn world really not matter to any of you? Too worried over that woman, isn’t that right, Diego? More important than the world? Our family?” Me? That was left unsaid but Diego knew. Of course he did. He could always see the real meaning behind Five’s words and he didn’t miss the sadness in the mans eyes either. Five didn’t want anyone to know how he really felt, always keeping his guard up. It saddened Diego and he desperately wanted to show Five that it was okay to be vulnerable. He had to fix this first though.

“Five no! Of course not! I wasn’t lying to you when I told you that she wasn’t important to me, not anymore. I was going out to bury Elliott and she found me. She drugged me and took me back to the commission, meet her mom and tried to give me a job there. The second she wasn’t around I bolted. Five, did you seriously think that I was going to betray your trust, go back to Lila and forget you and the world and our family? Jesus, Five.” Diego winces internally at the pain in his voice towards the end, couldn’t mask it. Couldn’t mask the hurt he felt that Five really thought he’d do that to them. To him.

“Are you goddamned fucking kidding me, Diego!? Yeah, jesus Diego. My bad for coming to such a quick assumption. With the way you forgot what happened between us so fast to fuck somebody else while I was saving our family! Forgive me for thinking it wouldn’t be anything for you to do it again.” Five’s voice was still a hiss, not forgetting that their family was only below them and could hear them if he yelled but god- he really wanted to. Five himself physically winced at his own words, hating that he made it about himself, about them, without even really meaning to.

“Fuck, Five. I already apologized for that. I’m sorry, alright? You were gone you know? Again.” Five recoiled at that. It hurt Diego to see, but he couldn’t stop now. “When we were kids the second we got close? You were gone. Same thing happened again. It was weeks and I hadn’t seen or heard from you or our family. She was just there, okay? She was there. I needed someone so badly and she was there. And I fucked her, okay? It was all so fast and I was angry at you for not being there when it wasn’t your fault. Shit Five. I’m sorry. I have no excuses but I mean it. She doesn’t matter. You do. Hell Five, I fucking love you and I always have.”

Shit shit shit. He hadn’t meant to say that.

All Diego could do was stare at Five. Like an idiot. But that’s all Five did for a few moments too. 

Then it happened so fast, just like with Lila. But this was different. Of course it was. They were on each other and neither one of them was sure who charged towards who first. Five had his hands in Diego’s hair and Diego had his hands grabbing at the lapels of Five’s blazer. Diego couldn’t help the sigh of relief he let out against Five’s lips, pressing Five against the thing closest to them. The couch. Five was now sat back where he was before and Diego was leaning over him, one foot pressed to the floor to keep himself steady and a knee pressed into the couch beside Five. They couldn’t stop now. Couldn’t control themselves. They never could when it came to the other. Diego’s lips gave Five a high feeling that he could never feel with any substance ever put in his body. The second Diego was close enough, he needed to feel more of the younger man. 

“I want you Diego. Please.” Five absolutely hates that his voice was almost a whine, but he was a little too busy going to kiss Diego’s lips again that he didn’t think about it too much. That was the thing about Diego. Nothing Five had ever done made Diego think less of him, even when he was below him whining and begging. Diego had told him after the first time that he knew Five could kick his ass still and he was smirking against the mans lips at the memory. 

That thought didn’t last long though because Diego was picking him up, hands now under his thighs to lift him and wrap the smaller mans legs around his waist. Five’s arms went to wrap around Diego’s neck, keeping him close as Diego walked the few steps to Elliott’s kitchen, quickly setting Five on one of the counters. Only a little searching and Diego found a little tub of vaseline in the small bathroom and he was back on Five, expert fingers tugging down Five’s shorts and boxers at once, letting them hang on one of Five’s feet. Diego hates to be so fast after what he just admitted but he hadn’t forgot his siblings and they needed to be fast. Quick to open the vaseline and get some on his fingers, he was even quicker with circling fingers at Five’s hole and then he was pushing in. He knew Five could take it anyway.

He was right, the smaller man only letting out a small gasp at the intrusion. A hand was reaching up to Diego’s hair, tugging, knowing Diego loved it. Diego hisses, lips finding Five’s again to swallow up Five’s little moans as Diego thrusts his fingers, already up to three now. And as quick as he shoved his fingers past Five’s ring of muscle, he was pulling them out, a chuckle passing his lips at the little whine Five let out. 

He didn’t make Five wait too long though, already moving again to unbuckle his belt and pop the button of his pants, pulling his pants and tight black boxers down enough to tug out his hard cock, already leaking precome from watching Five’s face twist up in pleasure from his fingers. Five looked down at Diego’s cock and whined a bit, lifting his legs to pull Diego closer and Diego was chuckling again at how needy he was, Five already too far gone to give a glare at that. And then Diego was wrapping a hand around the base of his cock to press the tip against Five’s hole. Five was whining again, pulling at Diego’s hair and trying to push himself onto the bigger man. Diego didn’t waste anymore time with shoving in.

That earned Diego another gasp, sharp and louder than before and then Diego was bringing a hand up to cover Five’s mouth to shield the noises and the other was holding at Five’s bony hip. 

Diego didn’t spend a second longer, pulling out as fast as he’d bottomed out and then again and again and again, quickly working up a rhythm. Five’s back was being thrown into the cabinet behind him with a small thump thump thump, his milky white thighs spreading further around Diego’s hips to feel him deeper, Five’s eyes fluttering wildly when the tip of the other mans cock hit his prostate dead on. Diego wasn’t shy of showing the older man that he was causing him pleasure, small grunts coming from his throat as he pressed in deep and hard and fast. The hand Five had against the counter was reaching up to grip Diego’s wrist, fingernails digging in, earning himself a deep groan from the man fucking him into the counter. 

Five was whimpering and moaning into his hand and it had Diego practically preening, loving that it was him making Five feel this way. It also had a wave of possessiveness rushing through him, only leading him to fuck Five even harder. Leaning in, Diego grunts his words into Five’s collar, “So fucking lovely, sweetheart. Love the way you moan for me. All mine. You’re mine. Say it.”

Five was so fucking far gone, not able to respond beyond a muffled whine. Diego growls, taking his hand from Five’s mouth to wrap around the smaller mans throat, thumb pressing right up against his windpipe. “Fucking. Say. It.” He punctuated his words with three harsh thrusts to Five’s prostate. 

It had Five letting out a more audible gasp, his head flinging back into the cabinet only increasing the pleasure from the pain. A loud thud and a groan and then he was answering, “I’m yours. All yours- please. Fuck. Don’t fucking stop. Feels so good.” Five huffs out, whining. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.” Diego grinned. Then he was looking down between them, watching his cock disappear into Five’s little hole, Five’s cock spreading precome against his sweater and blazer. The sight had Diego edging closer to release and he wanted to get Five there too. To his own dismay and probably Five’s too, he was removing his hand from Five’s throat to grip at the other mans cock instead, thumb swiping at his slit to spread down his cock to make the slide down easier. The disappointment he felt quickly vanished when he felt Five tightening around his cock and his breath deepening, signs Diego has learned meant Five was close. Diego was right there. All of it was too much. Five’s debauched face, his trembling thighs and his pretty pink hole tightening further, practically milking his cock. He was right there. So fucking close. Fuck-

And then it was all over when a familiar voice broke their moment.

“Jesus christ on a raft! Did Benny boy do some drugs while he was possessing me that I don’t know about, or does everybody else see little Number Five being railed into a kitchen counter by our one and only Number Two?”

Diego was pulling away from Five like he’d been burned and Five was fast to shove his leg into his short and shove them back up his legs as he hopped off the counter to face not only Klaus, but all of his siblings, staring right back at them with wide eyes.

Diego shoved his cock back into his pants but didn’t bother with his belt. He couldn’t even focus on anything but the stares he was getting from all of his siblings, who had just been seeing him fuck his teenage brother up against a counter. He’d really thought he could handle looks up until now. He didn’t know what to do with this.

Diego didn’t have to worry about that for too long anyways because Five was speaking then, “Well are you all going to just stare at us now, or do you have something to say? If not, please go away so we can continue.”

That morphed his siblings face from shock to confusion, but there was still a hint of shock there. And then Vanya was speaking up.

“Uh- sorry. Sorry. I just needed to use the phone and then everybody else wanted to come up to sit down and—“ Vanya’s cheeks were red with embarrassment, but Five didn’t look the least bit phased and he was the one that was just caught getting fucked. Diego knew it was a front, though. That Five was freaking out internally and he’d get an earful of it when they were alone. 

“Sorry,” She said again, a mumble. Then she was walking past them to reach the phone and the siblings all gave them one last look, deciding to not say a thing when they caught Five’s glare. If looks could kill.

With one last glare to his idiotic siblings, Five was grabbing Diego’s hand to blink them to the alleyway, alone to make sure Diego knew just how displeased he was. Afterwards Five was sharing the earlier sentiment.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing and posting a fic, pls be nice !


End file.
